Read My Lips
by xXxchiixXx
Summary: Yoh can't speak. This isn't a problem as a lone art student, But then Hao is interested in him. Can Yoh figure out his secrets? Can he figure out his past? YohxHao RenxHoro Yaoi, language. No longer on hold. Sorry people.
1. Yoh:A Certain Savior

**Ok. I decided to make a new story! Woohoo! Plus I have to update my other ones. Sorry about that. **

**Summary: Yoh goes to Arukasa high school, but has to get special training as he is a mute. (Can't talk…duh!). When he meets Hao, the sexiest boy in school, he can't believe that someone is actually taking an interest in him. But can Yoh tell him he loves him? And why do they look so alike?**

**Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Language.**

**Enjoy!... and please review! **

**Yoh's POV**

I put my hand to the door. Was it really that hard to enter a classroom? The answer was definitely yes. Especially when your entire classroom consists of geeks, sluts, nerds, and gays.

I cast my gaze to the glass panel before I was roughly pushed to the side. The nerve of some people! The red head glanced back to give me a dirty look. _How was that my fault? _Anyway, upon entering the classroom I decided to not hang my coat on the hooks provided. Last time some jerk had ran past it with a paintbrush.

_Fucking dickhead._

Suppressing my anger, I went straight to my usual seat and took my art things out of my bag. The red head from earlier came over to me, her hips swinging purposely from side to side.

_Slut. _

I managed a total fake smile as she approached. She looked at me and frowned. "Don't even think I was looking at you, you geek." I gave her a wide eyed look as she shouted over my shoulder. "Jason! Be my partner?"

I sighed and returned to unpacking my things. I took out my favorite paintbrush. I had won art awards with this brush. It was the only thing that I truly treasured.

I set up a blank canvas and sat patiently, my head phones on quietly as I waited for the teacher to set the task.

"Class, I want you to paint a scene. A landscape. Figures can be drawn too, but only if you think you are apt to do so."

She walked to my table, so I put down my headphones. She bent down to my level, so I was meeting her eyes.

"Yoh, I should think you are drawing a figure in your landscape too… am I correct?"

_But… I don't like drawing people, much less painting them!_

I pouted, hoping she would get the message. She obviously didn't. giving up, I sighed and bobbed my head in a sheepish nod.

"I look forward to seeing your final piece Mr. Asakura."

_Mr. Asakura? You make it sound like I'm going on 40 years old…_

I watched her walk away and turned my attention to the blank canvas, wagging the paintbrush between my fingers, before setting it down on the table and picking up my pencil. My drawing tool for today. I mean, there was no way I could draw **and **paint it all in the same lesson.

My shoulders heaved. _I can't think. I mean, what am I supposed to draw? I need something…something…_

My thoughts didn't seem to work anymore. I looked out of the window, towards the soccer field. I had seen it many times, there was nothing good about the soccer field.

It was who was **on **the soccer field.

I had seen so many jocks that all looked alike. Bleached blonde hair and huge pectorals. And the cheerleaders were the same too. Not muscular of course! Lithe and slender, and blonde…

But among all these populars, there was one head of shaggy chocolate like hair that stood out from the crowd.

Hao Asakura.

I'd only ever heard about him from rumors. I mean, he was supposed to be a mean person, but seeing him smile and he kicked around the inflated piece of rubber, it was kind of hard to believe.

Almost unconsciously, my hand moved to the canvas. It stared as a quick sketch. First there were the stands, for the audience. Always do the background first. That's what he has been told, anyway. Next came the cheerleaders, each with their own set of pom poms.

Then came the jocks. All muscular and blonde.

Then there was the ball. That was always important on the soccer field.

_Duh…_

Then came him. He was the figure I spent most time over, sketching every line with complete precision. I drew him kicking the ball, to score the winning goal.

I leaned back on my toes a little. _It's perfect, if I do say so myself. Which I can't…_

I frowned. _That was stupid._

I took out a plastic sheet to cover my work with. I didn't want it getting spoilt. And I had yet to finish it at home.

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Clutching the canvas tightly to my chest, I walked past the old oak tree that sat snugly at the side of our school. I looked out over the buildings, as I was pushed aside for the second time today. I decided to move, before the throngs of people poured from the school doors.

_Too late. Oh man…_

I tried to side step away from them, only to bump into Jason. Probably the most well known jock there was in school. I fell on my ass, dropping everything I had carried.

"Hey art geek, bump into me again and you'll know about it next time. Got it?"

_Well, actually I got the feeling I knew about it this time, Mr. yell-at-the-guy-you-just-knocked-on-his-ass…_

I stood, my head to the side. I didn't want to look him in the face. God knows what would happen.

"Hey! Are you even listening?"

_Yeah! I have heard every word you have said, now get the hell outta my face. You don't wanna see me when I'm angry…_

Jason was apparently not talking either when he kicked my in the stomach, and kicked my canvas until it broke.

_No… my work…_

"Hey! Stop it… fuck off you guys!"

I lifted my head to meet my own watery eyes, to a completely identical pair of onyx orbs that gave the impression of melting tar.

"You ok?"

_Uh…not really… jerk… you could have jumped in sooner…_

"I could have not jumped in at all."

_Huh? Did he just answer my thought? How the fuck did he do that?_

"Later. Here"

I took my hand I the one he offered. _It's so warm and soft. Ugh…why am I even thinking like this?_

"Sorry about those guys."

_It's alright._

"You know… when someone helps you… you are supposed to say thank you."

_Thank you! Thank you! _

"You're welcome."

I decided not to question his strange ways and gathered my things. He picked up my canvas, which was now completely ruined, snapped clean in half.

"Sorry about this. I'll help to make a new one if you want"

_Heh… do you even know anything about art?_

"Not really, but I could be of some help…right?"

I decided not to push it… but I couldn't help myself. I smirked and nodded.

_I could help you in art…if you wanted…_

He laughed. His laugh was so, comforting. I smiled and tilted my head to look at him. He was…nice.

_Probably one of those guys that every girl dreams of…_

"You'd be surprised." His laugh grew louder.

I looked down sheepishly.

My hand was still in his.

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Yay! A new story! This is now my new fav! I hope you enjoyed it. If you have any questions or suggestions.. Please let me know!

Hao: please? Otherwise…we don't get fed…

Yoh: or light…

Hao: and it's so dark in this little closet…

Please review!

XD

–Gives cookies-


	2. Hao:Art Lessons

**Wow! Thank you so much to those people who have reviewed! I love you all!**

**Hao: god… I wish she would shut up... That whiney voice goes right through me…**

**Yoh: don't be so mean!**

**Jess: yeah!**

**-Yoh and jess dance-**

**Hao: oh fucking god. There more than one…**

**Enjoy! And please review!**

I strode confidently through the corridor, turning heads as I passed. I was hot. And I knew it.

Here's the thing. Even though I'd had that little blush fest yesterday because I was still holding that kid's hand, it doesn't change the facts. There only one good thing that comes out of relationships. Sex.

Shameless sex. It's what I live for. It's my life.

I've had sex with almost everyone in the school. These pathetic people had given their hearts to me, and I'd ripped them to pieces. There was no love, only sex.

I paused a second, thinking things over. There _was _no love. No commitment. Nothing.

They had thrown themselves at his feet, crying out their love for him.

And yet, I still felt nothing.

I gave up on thinking about the past. What's done is done. It couldn't hurt him now. Not by much anyway.

I put my hand to the icy door handle. Maybe I was making a mistake. What the hell did I need with that kid anyways? I think I'd already freaked him out enough when he figured I could read his thoughts. I was a shaman after all. And he was too.

Why was I worrying? I was Hao Asakura for fucks sake. God's gift to women, men, and his own hand. In a manner of speaking. Not that I usually had to resort to that. I'd always get some whore to do it for me.

I sighed and pushed open the door slightly. I don't even know what I was doing here, but I guess it was a good thing I showed up.

The kid in question was kneeling with in a multicolored mess. His arms and hands were smeared with different colored streaks of paint. Upon closer inspection I was that I was wrong. He was trying to fix the painting that Jason-the-miserable-fuck had trashed yesterday.

I looked up at him. I had over a million sarcastic comments lined up in my head, but I decided to play it cool.

"And I thought finger painting was for kids…"

I froze when I saw that he had been crying. He looked at me with eyes that should have looked familiar. Stale tears stained his face, and his chocolate orbs were red and bleary.

I knew that look. I'd seen it before, a million times. After fucking some guy's brain out, they turn and tell me they loved me. I don't think I ever said it back. When you told them that there was never a relationship, that they were just another one-night-stand, they'd cry. They cry because they had lost something perfect and could never get it back.

I heard his thoughts. Damn, how could I ignore them? All other's thoughts passed me by as a faint whisper; the anger of some people's occasionally rising. But his were different. It was like he was shouting through a mega phone straight in my fucking ear.

_Hao? W-what are you doing here?_

I smiled. I was kinda glad he'd forgotten about yesterday. It would have been awkward. I mean, what could I say? I'm sorry I held onto your hand for too long? I was too busy losing myself in your goddamn sexiness and your fucking gorgeous eyes? I don't think so!

"I…came by to see how you were doing. You took quite a punch yesterday"

I saw his face fall. Even though it was ever so slightly, I still felt guilty. I should have jumped in sooner.

_I'm ok. It really doesn't matter. You don't need to worry about me._

"Yeah well. I guess I can't help it."

Huh? What was that? Was that a blush? A smile on his face? Hmmm."

"S-so..." I stammered. Stammered? Why the hell was I stammering? "When do we start?

His expression turned to one of horror and shock. _S-start-t?_

"The art lessons?"

I saw his face return to normal. Oh was I glad he didn't know how much I really wanted to start with him. But I guess it would be hard for him to recover if I just fucked him then dumped him again the next day.

_Oh yeah sure. Erm, whenever you like I suppose._

I grinned. "How about you come over to mine? It's only a short walk from school" I said, trying to ignore the uncomfortable look that embellished his face.

_Um.. I…uh…_

"GREAT!" I yelled, knowing it was rude, but interrupting before he could get any further. "I'll see you there, eight o'clock!" I exclaimed taking a map from my pocket and circling my apartment.

_But…I uh…_

"I'm looking forward to it!"

…_.Hao?_

I turned. Hoping he wouldn't reject my idea.

_Thanks._

I grinned. Things were going pretty smoothly. I hadn't had the chance to socialize with people properly as a friend. The whole, 'friendly conversation' was just a taster test before I pounded them into the mattress.

Somehow, Yoh was different. I just knew he was.

**Sorry this was a little short. Blame mercuryrose. Lol. I didn't want to rush into the whole relationship thing until, we know their backgrounds better,**

**I hope you liked this. Any questions or suggestions please tell them me!**

**YokoYoukai: thanks! I hope this chapter suited you fine. I shall write the next chapter with you in mind!**

**Kaoru Gal: hey thanks! You should update resistance too! I look forward to it! Tis my fav!**

**THS: sorry you didn't log in…. so I don't really know your log in address. Thanks for reviewing! –gives roses-**

**-gives cookies and roses to all reviewers!-**

**review please!**

**XD**


	3. Yoh:A Place Called Home

**Whoohoo! Thanks to all those people who reviewed! This is like, my favorite story to write. I guess I just like updating it! I hope you are all impressed… -raises eyebrow-**

**Hao: I'd be more impressed if you could do your own typing…**

**Yoh: my hand hurts…**

**Jess: what was that? NO CRACKERS FOR YOU TONIGHT!**

**Hao: sorry…master…**

**Yoh: you'll have to share with me!**

**Hao: is that all I get? –Pouts-**

**Yoh: huh…?**

**ENJOY, AND PLEASE REVIEW!**

I looked down at the shaking map in my hand. It wasn't that the map was shaking. It was my actual hand. Or rather, my entire body. It had to be a trap he'd set for that jackass Jason. It just _had _to be.

I mean, why would the hottest guy in school, the product of every girl's, (and boys) wet dream, ask me around? A wave of nausea washed over me as I bent low to the floor in an attempt to drive it away. It didn't.

Giving up on the sickening feeling that was threatening to bring my coco pops back to haunt me, I stood up and watched the apartment warily with heavy eyes. I don't know quite how one would explain the way I walked. To me, I looked like the scared kid I was. To everyone else, I'm guessing I resembled nothing more than a constipated toilet duck.

I put my shaking hand to the door handle. Before I could even pluck up the courage I needed to knock, I kinda flung open. Where was I?

Oh yeah. I was the kid who was stood behind it. The dumbass kid who could have stood anywhere else, but happened to stand in the way of the swinging door. Where was I? I was now, technically, on my ass.

Wow, second time this week.

I stood up for the second time in moments and brushed myself off. I ignored the ramblings of the door opener, and what looked like his girl friend and set off, once again looking for this stupid apartment, where Mr. I'm-so-hot-the-mere-thought-of-me-gets-you-hard lived.

I felt a drop of something on my nose. _Oh shit, just the time for rain…_ I took off my coat and wrapped my canvas in it. I didn't care about my body, just that goddamn painting!

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I found it! I found the apartment! A wave of happiness and relief replaced the nausea. I was somewhat…happy to get to see him. I leaned back on my toes a little, getting a better look at his apartment. The tears were making my vision blurred, so I had to squint to see properly.

"Hey! You crazy? Get in here before I seriously kick your ass!"

My head snapped to meet the indignant voice. I should've known it was him. The way his voice was deep, but had a certain cuteness about it.

_Gods, what am I thinking? This is Hao Asakura! I won't let myself be taken with him! Everyone he has been with had been heartbroken. I'm not going to let that happen to me too._

I felt a warm hand wrap around my wrist. I felt kinda fuzzy, like I didn't know what was going on. But I did of course! The heart throb of the school had helped me up…for the second time! The warm fuzzy creature inside me had suddenly gone into hyper overdrive.

"I'm really glad you came"

Damn! Yoh goo! Yoh goo! Yoh goo! I could have melted to the floor. I tried to play it cool, but even my thoughts didn't let that happen.

…_Yeah…ok…_

"Come on in"

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I blushed and watched him run around his apartment, throwing everything all over the place. It was tidy when I had first walked in.

_What are you doing?_

He looked up at me with a smile that made me feel uneasy. "Finding you some clothes," he said.

I was overly confused. What was wrong with the clothes I had on? I looked down sheepishly at the trail of water I had dragged in. no! I don't mean that I had wet myself! I was dripping rainwater in from my soaked shirt. He looked me up and down again. I really kinda liked it when he did that. It was uncomfortable though.

"Come no then, take it off"

I froze. What? He sounded like some sort of pimp. I really wouldn't be surprised by this point.

_Huh?_

He gave me an exasperated look. I watched him hold a towel out to me and push it into my hands. I felt a warm arm slide around my shoulders and hug me close to him. Eeep! Close to HIM! I felt that warm fuzzy creature again.

He let the arm fall. No! Put it around me again! I pouted. He walked in front me, ushering me into the living room. I saw his hand swaying next to his hips. I wanted to reach out and touch it, even hold it, but my courage wouldn't allow me to go that far. I swallowed hard. I couldn't believe what was happening to me! What was this I was feeling? A sudden wave of light headedness made butterflies fly in my tummy. I reached out to touch his hand, but jerked it back before he turned round to look at me.

He took my painting out of my hands. Why didn't I protest? Well, I guess I liked him doing things for me. I wouldn't usually let anyone help, but he was different. I just knew he was.

I took a hesitant step backwards when he grabbed the bottom of my shirt. He pulled it off and chuckled when I gave a shudder. He rubbed me up and down with the towel, all the while murmuring things like, "Didn't you watch the weather?" and, "Honestly"

He pulled this huge cream poncho on me and gave me some red pants to pull on. I was glad they were not like the pants the jocks wore at school, but then again, I should have expected it. Like I thought, he had to be different. I was also glad he didn't put the pants on for me.

I set up a blank canvas for him, trying to ignore his unsettling gaze that was burning though the clothes I was wearing. The silence made me feel uncomfortable, I wanted him to talk to me, I wanted to hear his voice whisper in my ear… oh god…what was I thinking?

I heard him laugh. Damn… did he hear me? Oh crapola! I watched him pick up a paintbrush, still chuckling, and hand it to me. We locked eyes for a moment. I wondered what I was doing here. There was no way I could be doing this, right here, right now, teaching art to the most popular, hottest guy in school! His eyes were totally alike to my own, only with a little more confidence. He smiled and ran his hand through my cinnamon locks. I felt just like a child, though I didn't want to.

"Shall we start?"

_Yeah. Sure_

**Waaaaa! Hao is a man whore and Yoh doesn't know! Yoh is falling for him… but… doesn't know what it means for him! Awww…**

**Sorry this chapter was so short, I have had to concentrate on my other stories. I shall start updating this too though! This is one of my favorite stories!**

**Hao: god… just review to shut her up!**

**Yoh: yeah! Reviews! –Throws out cookies-**

**Jess: thank you so much for all your reviews and support! Keep em coming!**

**p.s…. J-Sisters rule!**

**Cough cough…**

**Please REVIEW!**

**XD**


	4. Hao:Shit, He's In My Bed!

**Ok. Sorry for the wait! Thank you to all those who reviewed! –Gives cookies and roses-**

**Yoh: _uh… hi… we have finally made an appearance…_**

**Hao: damn right… -growls-**

**Yoh: _please review?_**

**Hao: damn right…**

**-Both pout-**

**Enjoy and please review!**

I blinked my eyes to the light that must have been seeping in from a crack in the curtains. I must have fallen asleep in the chair again. I growled lightly to myself and shuffled my feet to the doorway. "Shit, my fucking head…"

I unconsciously scratched the back of my neck, traipsing my feet up the stairs. I frowned as I noticed my bedroom door was open. That was weird; I ALWAYS shut my bedroom door. It was my sanctuary…

I pushed on the panels with my fingertips, expecting to greet and empty room. Like it was supposed to be. But….

There was a lump… in my bed…

And it _moved…_

I thought that it would be just another guy who couldn't walk because of me. But I was wrong. I pulled back the covers to reveal a patch of brown fur. Wait…brown fur?

I pulled back the covers to reveal a very cute, very sexy, very _naked_ Yoh. I stroked down his chest and watched his eyes flutter at the touch of my fingertips. He shuddered at the cold and I leant over him. His breath tickled my lips as I closed the gap between us.

I tried to keep it innocent, for his sake. I mean, he wasn't used to the sex first, questions later business. Yet, I still couldn't stop my tongue from pushing between his lips. I lapped up the gasp he made and let my hands wander down his frail body. His thoughts were screaming at me.

_Please…don't stop…._

I happily complied. I kissed down his cold skin, feeling the heat transfer from my lips to his chest. With expert hands I undid his jeans and snaked a hand down to my prize.

_I wanted this so badly…_

"Hao! You mother fucker!"

Shit. I turned to meet the eyes of Jason, grinning at us, his lip curling.

"You fag… I can't believe you ditched us for that fucking scumbag. You disgust me." He spat on the floor and turned back to the football team, all stood behind him, pointing and laughing. The world span. I couldn't grasp at any thoughts long enough to hold onto them. I didn't understand…

**Shit.**

I sat bolt upright in the chair, my forehead bathed in cold sweat, my earrings jangling at the force of the movement. It was the only noise that could be heard. I ran a hand through my hair, before leaping out of the chair and running to my room.

The bed was just as in my dream. I looked upon the face of my mute house guest and paced to his side. I stroked his face with a long finger, holding myself back. Fuck, he was the cutest thing I had ever seen. His hair swayed when he let out a breath, and his fingertips made little movements on the hand laid beside his head. he was grasping the covers like his life depended on them.

Fuck. He was cute. One might even go so far as to say **hot**. I'd never really seen this side of him before. Hell, I hadn't really seen ANY side of him before. He was a totally new experience. A rollercoaster that made you fucking high just thinking about it. He was the new kind of speed, the new ecstasy, the new cancer.

I took a step back. Shit, what did I feel for him? I mean, all the others didn't have this effect on me at all. They were like pick and mix. Why was Yoh so different? Why did he make me feel like a train driver that broken the fucking brakes? I wasn't too sure myself.

I tore my mind from the thoughts plaguing me as his girlish eyelashes fluttered open and a peek of melted chocolate shone through. Blush became apparent upon his face as he caught my gaze.

I remember now. He'd missed the last bus home. I'd told him he could have my bed, as I usually sleep in the chair anyways. He'd protested, but after a while, he caved in. he wasn't really good at the whole arguments thing.

_Uh…sorry… I think I should have gotten up earlier…_

His thoughts were so innocent. They were nothing alike to my own, which dwelt under the covers and down the brunette's pants.

"It's fine, don't worry about it."

I held out my hand for him. I watched him blush and I had to stifle my laughter. I knew he had this weird thing for me. It was quite funny listening to him try to think completely innocent thoughts when he kept stumbling across them.

We ate breakfast in silence, pretty much. He asked a lot about my life at the moments. I decided not to drag him into the spirals of sex, drugs and booze. It didn't seem important, weird as that sounds. He was asking about who I lived with though.

_So… do you live by yourself?_

'Fuck, I wish I lived with you. We could share the same bed'

"Uh… I just recently got these two roommates. Ren and… uh Horo… I think. They are gay, and completely fucked up. Ren's an uptight bitch and Horo is this sly little fox."

I saw him astonished by how I worded that sentence. I was good at things like that. Never good at proper English though.

I heard the door slam open, right on cue.

"Speak of the devil…"

the pair that entered made out in the porch, hands wandering and mouths kissing hungrily. I raised an eyebrow and laughed at the way Yoh's jaw hit the floor. They stopped when they caught us staring. The Ainu's eyes widened as he turned to the angry face of his lover.

"Oops…"

**Sorry this chappie was a little short. It's mainly a filler to introduce Ren and Horo. I hope its ok though.**

**Yoh: _they…were…making…out…in…the…porch…_**

**Hao: I'm taking it that's not something you have experienced?**

**Yoh: _no….not…really…._**

**Hao: I could help you out there if you like….**

**Jess: hey hey hey! **

**Please review!**

**Review please**

**XD **


	5. Yoh:No, This Is NOT Happening To Me!

**It has been a while…since I updated… I am sorry….**

**This is going to take an interesting turn….. I can assure you…..**

**I have plot a HUGE plot twist coming up…. I don't know whether you'd like it or not! Lol**

**Yoh: This isn't happening!**

I watched, my jaw open with surprise and embarrassment. The two in the porch were all over each other, hands wandering, tongues extended. The blue head caught our stares, Hao's smirk and my dragging jaw and stared back. The purple haired one threw his jacket at his boyfriend and stormed off. Hao laughed at me. I didn't understand what he was laughing at, until I noticed the huge blush that had exploded on my face.

Was it because I was blushing? Or did he realize I like him?

_I think he already knows._

He stood up to take my plate away, and ran a hand through my hair as he put them in the sink. I frowned. He motioned me into the living room where the two I had seen earlier sat, apart. It was quite weird seeing them go from practically groping each other to sit apart. I looked between them and smiled. They both looked up when they realized I was in the doorway. Hao pushed a can of cola into my hands and walked past me, sitting in, what I presumed was his armchair.

"Yoh, this is Ren," he said, motioning to the purple haired dude. I nodded at him, and he raised his eyebrow at me. I didn't think I had done anything wrong. "Don't take it personally," Hao continued, "Ren's always been like that. And that's Horo. He's just a fucking lazy ass."

_Oh. I see._

"Hey dude. If you're Hao's new fuck buddy, will you please remember that the shampoo for colored hair is MINE? I'm sick of telling every new guy he gets that our shower is NOT public!"

Oh. My. God. I didn't understand. _Fuck buddy?_

"Uh, he's a friend." Hao burst in, seemingly to break what Horo was going to say. I think he was ashamed for himself. "Ha! That's a laugh! Hao doesn't have friends"

Hao went red. I saw the blush creep its way onto his skin, unnaturally resting there. He jumped out of his chair and grabbed my wrist, dragging me upstairs.

_What are you doing?_

"Look, those guys, I mean, I don't want you thinking the wrong kind of things about me. You're the one friend I've had in a long time and I don't want to lose you over something like that."

Don't. Want. To. Lose. Me.

The words stuck in my head, spiraling out of control. I felt so…so…

Friend. Another word that stuck. I was his friend. Nothing more, nothing less.

_Sure. It's ok._

"Hey." I looked up. "Don't look like that."

_He SO knows I like him._

He smirked. "So, what do you want to do now then?"

_Well I…_

I was rudely interrupted by a loud noise from downstairs, Hao quickly ran to shut the door. I raised my eyebrows at him. "Um..it's…"

"Oh god… HORO!"

They weren't… god…no… they can't be…

"Shit Ren…"

There was more erotic moaning, and it was then it hit me. _They were. _I gasped and turned to Hao, who shrugged it off. There was another crash, presumably as the two had tumbled to the floor. All that was heard was: "Reeeeeeeeeeeeeen…." And "Shut the fuck up you sexy, horny baka…." Blah blah blah.

We tried to indulge in conversation. It really didn't work. Not just the fact that I couldn't talk; it was the moaning and panting coming from downstairs. We tried to 'talk' (in a loose sense, obviously) about everything from art, to the football team.

"Hey…Yoh?"

I looked up at him, kinda happy he'd broken that uncomfortable silence.

It was then that it happened.

He leaned in close to me, putting both of his hands on my shoulders. I looked up into the eyes that were so like my own, as they got closer and closer.

I could see every glistening of moisture on his lips, the moisture surrounding his eyelashes. He was so close, his breath tickled my lips and it was a beautiful scent of strawberries. He didn't strike me as the kind of guy that would like them. He leaned his forehead against mine for a second, and whispered in a soft voice, "I'll always be here for you, ok?"

He was trying to be sweet. It was totally out of his character, that much I could tell. I nodded slightly, making both our heads nod in unison.

_Of course. I know that._

He looked into my eyes. Not just looking through them; we held that gaze. A few seconds past, and then a few more, but it might as well be eternity. I swallowed hard, and carried on holding the gaze I was too scared to break. He'll think I don't like him if I look away…he will hate me…

He moved his head down, so our noses brushed. Was he going to? Really! I felt his hot breath run along my bottom lip in a soothing pattern.

Was he going to?

CRASH.

The sound that dragged us apart. It was like thunder. We pulled apart from our 'almost' kiss, but he didn't let go of my shoulders. I started to choke. I saw him look up at door, from under which smoke was streaming.

"Shit! Tear gas! Yoh, get down!"

I dropped to the floor. Hao was pushed aside by these guys who burst through the door. "Get down! Get down! Stand down!"

I felt someone pull both of my hands behind my back and force them in a way I knew they definitely weren't meant to bend. Tears flowed from my eyes, the gas stinging them red raw. All I remember before passing out was Hao's voice screaming and shouting.

"Don't hurt him! Don't you dare fucking hurt him! I mean it you fucking bastards! Touch him and I'll fucking kill you! Leave him out of this! Just leave him alone! Let him go you fucking dick!"

And then, He was gone.

**I'm soooooo sorry! Oh my god! This was soooooo short! But you did get a little glimpse of Ren and Horo….so don't burn me about it.**

**Yes, they were going to kiss…. But ALAS! The police ruined everything! Ah well…. And there will be a full fledged lemon coming up soon for all you yaoi lovers…**

**Thanks for reading… now be nice to me and push the button!**

**starts singing push the button by sugarbabes**

**NO NO NO! hits self repeatedly until blood flows from own nose **

**Sorry… don't like it…**

**Review please!**

**XD**


	6. Hao:Is That Anna?

**Ok. Sorry it's been a while. My computer gave out for like, ages before I could write this.**

**Cookies to reviewers!**

**Hao: Is That Anna?**

I slammed both of my palms down onto the table, hard. I hoped this would tell these guys that I was seriously pissed off. They leered at me.

"Good cop or bad cop? Care to let me know on which is which?"

They sighed in frustration. We had been here for ten minutes and all they had said was just stuff to make me confess to something that I had no idea about. I refused to talk, and they pushed a small plastic bag towards me. It slid across the table and bumped into my fingers with a sickening thud.

Drugs. That bag was full to the brim with class A hardcore drugs. I looked at them.

"You don't honestly think that I would lower myself to such a level? You think I'm one of those guys who go out looking like a pot head? Look at me, I'm sexy! You really think I would fuck up my beautiful chocolate locks with shit like this?" I motioned to the bag. "Look, I'm happy to take a drugs test of it makes you feel better."

They threw glances at one another. Maybe now they were finally starting to get it.

"Of course. You will be held in temporary custody until further notice, or until your test results come into our labs. Follow me sir."

Oh sir. How posh. We exited the small questioning room and headed for the cells. It was then that I saw him.

"Hey! Yoh!"

He glanced over to me with a grin. The cop was at my side immediately. I looked up at him and smiled. "Five minutes? Just give me five minutes with him, please?"

"Alright"

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"Yoh, I'm so sorry"

_I believe you_

"I didn't put those drugs there!"

_I believe you_

"Honestly! I hate people that do drugs, why would I take them?"

_I believe you!_

"You…"

_I believe you. I'm not about to think anything bad about you just because they found some form of drugs in your drawer. Anyone could have put them there._

"Thanks Yoh."

He blushed. I smiled at him. I decided that now would probably be the right time to tell him. I was afraid at first. Heh, sounds weird, me, Hao, afraid; but I was. I was afraid that he'd tell someone, and ridicule me. Now, I realized, he probably felt the same way. That was all I could deduct from his behavior around me. He'd blush and pout when I thought he wasn't looking. He didn't pull away when I went to kiss him, so I'm guessing that he wanted it too.

I put my arms around him. I felt him tense up, and then relax. I lifted his head up to meet my eyes with my two fingers. He gazed cautiously into them. I told him. I had to.

"Yoh… I have something to tell you…. And it's really hard to say… so could you leave all emotional and disgusted breakouts until I'm finished please?"

_uh…ok…_

"I…think… I think, I ….love you…"

_You think you love me?_

"No…I DO love you… hey! Does that mean you like me too?"

He blushed bright red. He fidgeted with his hands. He looked away. All the signs were there. I pointed at him. "Ha! You do!"

_I…uh….well…._

I didn't leave him another thought. I crashed my lips onto his own. He relaxed and his body caved into mine. I slid both hands around his waist and watched his eyes slide shut. Mine did too. His fingers snaked their way up into my hair and grasped it tightly. I wouldn't have tolerated it from anyone else, but I made an exception. My tongue slid into his warmth and we touched them together. It was a moment I had played out in my head over and over again, but nothing was like the real thing.

We pulled apart, and I could only look into his eyes, his skin flushed, his breath ragged. I grinned and planted soft kisses down his neck. We were interrupted by a loud knock. We pulled apart and the sight that met me was humiliating.

"A-Anna?"

It was her. She stood; hand on her hip before yanking on Yoh's hand and dragging him out of the cell. Two cops were at her side.

"Hao, honestly. Flirting with my finance, how dare you!" She grinned and pulled Yoh along behind her. I went after them. No way was she going to ruin what they had! I barged past the cops, only to be stopped by a sickening thud to my stomach. The pain was unbelievable.

I saw Yoh try to pull out of her grasp, but it seemed she didn't want him to go anywhere. He looked back at me, hand outstretched. I watched him leave. What did Anna want?

I knew her from before. She was the quiet girl that we busted for having a pot room in her basement. Turned out she was into this whole porn bondage scene. It's always the quiet ones. I remember watching outside with the team, watching her mum and dad get arrested. They brought out box after box of leather, chains, whips and other unmentionables. Her whole family was into it.

Not only that, but I had _dated _this girl once. She was nice and quiet, my plan was to fuck her and dump her; but she was like the Virgin Mary. I never even got close to getting in her pants. I abandoned that mission early.

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Although, as I sat in my cell that night and wondered, I remembered what she had said.

Yoh's fiancé? What did she want with him? it was obvious that Yoh didn't want her. It was then that I realized. I REALLY loved Yoh. I was fascinated by him. he was innocent, yet nice to get along with. He was so warm, his body, his lips. I could tell by his uncertain approach that this was definitely his first kiss; however, there was something there that I could not place. A feeling of… ugh… man… I had no idea.

I shook a hand through my hair. I KISSED him. I felt this weird sensation crawling up my back. Heh. He was cute. I allowed myself a closed eyes grin and leant back against the wall.

WAIT A MINUTE!

Yoh. Was. With. Anna.

Anna the bondage loving freak. Anna the girl who loved to torment others in her search for sexual pleasure. Anna with a grudge against all those popular. Anna, Yoh's 'fiancée'.

Oh god.

_Beep beep_

I looked over at my pants. My phone was bleeping in the pocket. I pulled it out.

_One new message received_

I clicked open. The sight that awaited me was my worst nightmare.

_Shit. Yoh…_

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**Mwahahahaha! I am soooo evil! I had to add in Anna, because here's where the main plot comes in. She shakes everything up! Hehehehehe..**

**Just thought I would let you know.**

**XD**

**Thanks to all those who reviewed.**

**Please review!**

**XD**


	7. Yoh:I Don't Understand

**Sorry bout the wait folks!**

**Yoh: I Don't Understand**

_What's going on?_

The questions reeled through me. I felt cold. I tried to move my limbs, but they were weighted down. I peeled my eyes open, adjusting them to the faint light I saw from under the door. I threw my head forward, wincing at the crack of my neck. I heard footsteps outside.

"Yoh…" the singsong voice sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it. I searched the room for the source of some strange psychotic laughter that rang in my ears.

"Let's play doctors and patients Yoh…"

_Doctors and patients?_

Her face came into view. It really WAS Anna. A grin stretched from one ear to the other, and her eyes shone with malicious desire. I sure as hell didn't like it.

"But there's just one problem, dearest Yoh…"

I didn't like the way she was talking to me. She sounded like one of those nurses at the hospital that flatter you before sticking an IV into your hand.

"I forgot the anesthetic…"

_WHAT!_

She held the scalpel in a firm grip and turned her attention to my back. I realized where I was. I bit my lip as she cut into my skin.

"Go on… what's the matter? Scream Yoh. Tell me how much you hate me, how you want to hurt me back…"

_No… get off…. Sick bitch…_

She stopped. I saw her walk towards a small table, and hunch over it. I'm not sure what she was doing, but when she turned back, her pupils were huge. Her grin widened, and her tongue flickered out to moisten her lips. I tugged at the restraints around my wrists, but they didn't budge.

She slid her hands round my neck and fastened something there. I'd had enough. I wasn't going to be treated like her lapdog anymore. I kicked out as hard as I could, but I only managed to graze her with my kneecap. She felt it though.

"Let's play a game Yoh. You want to see Hao again, no? Then you'll have to survive first."

_Survive?_

Everything went black.

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**(Ok, if any of you have seen the film, 'Saw', this is going to sound awfully familiar)**

Everything hurt. It was dim when I woke up, and the floor was filthy. I realized that I wasn't tied down anymore, and frantically sat up, my bare feet collecting dust as I went. I looked around, and saw a tiny letter on the floor.

Before I picked it up, I tried to recognize where I was. There was a toilet, and a shower, and a sink. The shower was filled with barbed wire, and razor wire. The type that cuts through your flesh with a single brush against it. I made it a point to stay away from it.

Reading the letter, I automatically recognized Anna's spidery writing.

_**If you look above you, you will know why it is so important to get out of this room in the next hour. **_

_**The only way out is the door. But as you can see, it is locked in three places. These locks require three keys. **_

_**I know that when you were younger, you used to cut yourself. Intentionally. The scars prove that. Did you really want to die?**_

**_Well, if you want to escape this, then you will have to shed your blood again, and again._**

**_I'll give you a hint. The first key is a breath of fresh air. If you find it in time._**

_**Life is what we make it.**_

_**Anna. Xxx**_

Fuck. The ceiling was a huge mass of hanging spikes, wrought iron. And it was set to come down in 57 minutes.

I didn't stand a chance.

Falling to my knees, I thought through my tears. Maybe I did have a chance. The task wasn't impossible. And she was right. I did used to do that to myself. What difference was it going to make now?

_Yeah right. And bleed to death whilst I'm at it._

A breath of fresh air. What did she mean? I frantically searched everywhere, looking for some tiny glimmer, some spark of a clue.

The air vent.

It was small, two small to climb through. I'd be amazed if I could get my hand through there. I shakily stood, and willed myself to stop sobbing, but I couldn't. I didn't want to die!

It was too high for me to reach. She'd figured that out too. The only way I could reach, was by standing on the toilet seat. The one with shards of glass embedded in it. Shit. I looked back at the clock. I didn't have long.

I hesitated, and found a spot where the glass was placed few and far between. I lifted my foot, and closed my eyes. I put my foot down.

The pain was immediate. I could feel the blood dripping through my toes, but all I could do was bite my bottom lip and sob some more. I reached up, ripping the cover from the air vent. I reached up, only to clench my eye lids closed in pain.

There were nails on the inside of the vent.

I fished around as much as I could, the glass biting into my feet, and the nails tearing the skin from my arms.

I grasped the key, and yanked it from where it originally was, dragging myself off the glass, and falling no the floor, near the lock. I jammed it into the keyhole, and heard it click. One down. Two to go.

**35 minutes left.**

I spent five more precious minutes searching for the next key. I spied a white gleam in the sink. The sink that was brimming with drug needles. I ripped off my shirt and gave a shiver, before wrapping it securely round my hand.

I plunged in; wincing as the sharp ends pierced through my skin, and hooked a finger around the key, pulling out something else too.

Another letter. I unlocked the second lock before reading it. As I opened it, the whole ceiling creaked. Just how stable was that thing?

_**There's more than two heads in this room.**_

Huh?

Fuck no.

She couldn't be serious.

The shower head?

Looking over to the shower again, I loudly sobbed as the pain of the wounds came flooding back. I limped to the shower and reached up on my torn toes. I couldn't reach.

**15 minutes left**

I panicked, stumbling, almost falling into the razor wire.

With my second attempt, I closed my eyes and lunged forward. I managed to grab the key… and a handful of the wire.

It tore at my hand, its greasy metal carving its way into my palms. I cried out in pain, forcing my way out of the deadly abyss.

**1 minute left**

I forced it into the rusty lock, grimacing at the pain in my feet.

It wouldn't open.

I slammed into the door with my shoulder, forcing the lock to crumble. I tumbled to the floor. I thought I'd got away spike free.

Until it slammed down, stabbing through the bottom of my foot.

Out of the haziness and cloudiness that smoked throughout my mind, I saw Anna lean down.

"You win."

**God… you are all going to hate me now…**

**Ok. First little Anna taster. She really is evil…**

**I'm really sorry for how long it took me to update. Happiness for you though, I got out of an exam with time to spare! So whoohoo!**

**Please review!**

**-Cookies and roses to all reviewers!**

**Pleasem?**

**XD**


	8. Hao:A Touch Of Reality

**Hao: A Touch Of Reality**

I shoulder barged the door. It crumbled under the force. I knew it wouldn't last. If I ever got my hands on Anna, I'd ring her neck until it was purple and then cut off each of her limbs, one by one, and then ram them down her throat. No.. actually… I'd just set her alight. I was good with fire. A true pyromaniac.

The house was rotting away. Some of the beams that made up the roof had splintered and fallen, making it hard to see where you were going. I tossed one aside and called out Yoh's name.

It had started as a digital image. A photo, taken by Anna most likely, sent via text message to my phone. I had opened it in my cell, only to see Yoh's sleeping form, curled up, oblivious to the camera. A tiny drop of blood was splattered on his cheek.

More pictures were sent after that. All getting gradually worse… until she sent a blank text at the end of it all. We had been in the cop car at that point. Police technicals had traced the signal from the phone they were sent from and located an old rundown house, in the industrial side of Patch town.

I hear a cry, somewhere deeper in the house. It sounds like it's coming from underneath me. A basement. Figures. There is a loud smash. Like iron on concrete. I shout again.

"YOH! WHERE ARE YOU!"

No answer. I should have known. I open one door, only to find a rotted corpse, sunk through with water and rats devouring his/hers intestines. I can't tell the gender. I turn around and wretch, throwing up my poorly done breakfast all over the floor. It is yellow and brown with sick chunks in it. I look away, disgusted and a cop starts about reporting it into his pocket radio. I shake my head, swallowing the remaining vomit in my throat. It slides down my gullet because I force it.

I look around; taking in everything there is to see. A door. To the left. I pull it open, rather harshly. The cries grow louder. I'm getting closer. My gaze falls upon a set of stairs, also rotted in appearance to match the house. I ease my way down the first step, slowly.

I get to the sixth step. I stay close to the wall. A short breath escapes my lips. I put my left foot on the seventh step. That's when it happened. The stair gave way.

I flung both arms out to break my fall, and they caught on the broken step sides. My legs dangled down above a mass of razor wire. I kick out and try to wriggle my way back up. It seems that lady luck is on my side. I tear my shirt open pulling myself up. The splintered wood is pressed against my back as I hoist myself up. It gashes into my skin. Blood trickles down my spine, but I don't care. I grit my teeth. This is nothing compared to what Yoh went through, I tell myself.

I jump the remaining stairs. I wasn't taking any more chances. I push open the door at the bottom gently, and see a hand, twitching and convulsing around a moss covered corner of wall. There's blood on the fingers. I'd know that hand anywhere. That was the hand that belonged to the body, which belonged to the boy who slept in my bed and attended after school art classes to avoid bullies.

I rush to his side and stare at him through disbelieving eyes. There is a sharp iron spike jammed into his foot. Blood is congealed in the floor next to him. His breathing is slow and heavy. I cradle his head in my hands, cupping his cheeks with my long, slender, coiled fingers.

I can't hear his thoughts anymore. Instead of the strange rambling Yoh usually had running through his mind, all I could pick up was voiceless static.

His cherubic lips were slightly parted, breathing through my name.

"H-Hao…"

His voice was broken. My eyes widened. Yoh just spoke. And his words were my name. I held him closer. His body shuddered before relaxing completely. His eyes closed and his body fell against mine.

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They had managed to prise the iron cage off Yoh's foot, and bundled him off to hospital. I stayed with him the whole time, even when the nurse took off all of his clothes to bandage him up and dress him in rough cotton hospital clothes. Even when she peppered his veins with tubes and needles, feeding him with vital fluids. Thankfully, he hadn't needed a blood transfusion. Otherwise, I'd have to be checked out.

He looked alien, with all those tubes strapped to his arms and the base of his nose. I blinked, and played with the loose wicker strands that spurted from the edge of the chair arm. Everything seemed so far away. The tiny bleeping of his heart on a machine kept me awake. That, and a million thoughts whizzing round my head.

I froze in a moment of sordid possibility. Anna has left the country. What if she comes back? What if she gets tired of playing around with people's feelings and comes back to Yoh? What if? What if? What if?

So many thoughts were whizzing around my mind, I just wanted them to rest. I took a strand of Yoh's hair and played with it. This wasn't supposed to happen to him. He was just a quiet art student, a nice kid. Things like this didn't happen to people like him.

My hand trails lazily down his arm. I feel raised skin and I turn his hand over gently. There, in his palm, is a single letter, carved into his skin.

'A'

I can't stop the tears that suddenly spill over the rim of my eyes. I kiss Yoh softly on the cheek and hunch over, my body shaking from sobbing. A nurse comes in, but she leaves. I don't want to deal with her right now. I don't want to deal with anyone.

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_Hao… Hao wake up… Hao…_

A tugging at my sleeve. I open my eyes, only to find they hurt. Must be because I cried myself to sleep last night. I gaze up. Yoh is awake, and perched on the edge of the bed as much as he could without it hurting him. I cup his cheek in a rough hand and kiss him lightly on the lips. He blushes, as usual. He's in no fit state to go anywhere.

The nurse comes in, shortly after and tells him he will have to be in a wheelchair for a few days. I sigh in the silence. Yoh nods erratically, and she laughs.

"Cat got your tongue?"

Yoh and I freeze. She raises an eyebrow and smoothes down her white coat. She leaves as soon as she came. There is an awkward silence looming over us.

"She didn't know Yoh…"

He nods, but I can tell he is still unsure.

_Can we go home now Hao?_

I shake my head at him. "Yoh, sorry, but you're not in a state to go to hell, never mind home." I chuckled and ran a hand through his hair, gently, avoiding any bumps he might have there.

He pouts and I lean in close, breathing hard on him and whispering onto his lips, "Don't pout like that Yoh…"

He gives me a sweet kiss. He pulls away and lies back down slowly. I hate seeing him like this. Although he is smiling, I know that deep down, he is hurting. He is hurting so much, I know he is. There is pain in his eyes, and he refuses to let me help.

I glance down to inspect a slight crack in the bridge of my fingernail. Yoh is gazing out of the window with a foreign look. His arm is tilted slightly, so I decide to check something out. I look down his arm in a glance. There are, just as I thought, scars in spidery lines circling his wrists. I feel myself bite my bottom lip gently, tugging at the flesh.

Why did I have to do this? Why did I have to fall for the sweetest, yet most fucked up guy in the school?

At least he will be able to come home soon.

I hope, at least.

"Yoh?"

He turns towards me, the light cascading over half of his face. His eyes bore into mine. I feel like I'm being judged all over again. He probably thinks I'm going to fuck him then cast him aside like a broken doll. I wouldn't blame him. I do that. But not to Yoh. Yoh is different.

"When… we were back in the house… you spoke… do you remember?"

His expression doesn't change. His face is still hard set. I can't sense anything from him at the minute.

I get it. It's personal. He doesn't want to talk about it. It's okay. I understand. He'll talk when the time is right.

I look away and he does too. I shuffle to his side and share his gaze out of the window.

It's a nice day.


	9. Yoh:Forgotten Memories

**Yoh: Forgotten Memories**

It has been two days. At least I was back home now, at any rate. Hao is downstairs. His bed feels warm around my skin. He still hasn't shared it with me yet.

What was this feeling?

I shake my head. Something deep inside of me is rising to the surface. The reason…the reason why I can't talk.

_**Flashback**_

"_Yoh… don't run away from me."_

_I freeze. Not again. Please, not again._

_I feel a cool hand cup my cheek. The man is breathing hard on my face. I try to push him away, but my arm ends up pinned behind my own back. I am once again, helpless to his touches._

"_Please… sir…"_

_I barely recognize my own voice. It seems so broken, so weak. I fall, collapsing to my knees._

"_Doctor… no…"_

"_No? I made you better. I treated you. It is because of me that your brain wasn't scrambled beyond belief! And you…" He leans in, gliding his tongue from one end of my ear to the other, "You couldn't afford it. You agreed to this… remember? I told your Mommy that I'd give it you for free… but Yoh darling… you know that nothing in this world is free."_

"_NO!"_

_I push him away, tears rolling in hot splashes down my face. The bandage over one eye comes loose, hanging down with my hair, swaying in the breeze that's entering through the window. _

"_I… didn't…" My voice is shaking. I can't form a straight thought. "I didn't want this…"_

_He runs a hand through his dirty blonde locks and smiles a wolf like smile. The light glances menacingly from his eyes._

"_Yoh… why can't you stand?"_

_He's right. I can't seem to hold my own weight. My whole head feels like it's going to rip apart and spill my brains over the floor. I am shaking. I can't stop._

"_I…thought… I thought you said… you cured me?"_

"_Hmmm… it seems… you are too far gone for a small medical practice like this…"_

_I collapse. My legs hit the floor, followed shortly by my torso. My eyes are closing._

_What did he do to me?_

_**End flashback**_

What did he do to me? I sit up, holding my head in one hand.

_Hao…_

I had heard about Hao's reputation. He fucks people for fun, and then tosses them aside. As much as I had fallen in love with him… I didn't want to be another case.

Who was I kidding?

I already WAS another case. An incurable case. I feel an unexpected tear fight free from its glassy prison. I shudder, and wipe it away.

Why couldn't I remember? Why couldn't I remember everything that happened?

I turn over and put both feet to the floor, slowly. I hug the shirt more tightly around myself and pad downstairs gently.

_Hao?_

"Hey Yoh. Glad to see you're finally awake. I thought you were going to sleep forever!"

There was a bright smile on his face. I returned it.

"I made you something to eat too. You like oranges…right?

I pounced on him. I LOVED oranges!

_THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!_

I nuzzled at his neck, purring. He knew what I liked! I felt so happy!

It suddenly struck me how violently my mood swings could change.

We sat at either ends of the table. I stripped the first orange clean and peeled it apart, gently tasting each of the segments.

I look over the table and see Hao looking at me, his head tilted. His eyes seem to bore into me. His gaze is so intense. I can't stop what I am about to do.

I lean over the table and push my lips to his, closing my eyes and losing myself in the arms that came up to hold me.

"_**You like this don't you?"**_

I pull away.

"What's wrong Yoh?" Hao looks at me with worry.

Where did that voice come from? That voice… was in my mind. It wasn't Hao. Just what was going on?

"If you want to stop, it's okay." His smile was sincere.

"_**Of course he wants to stop. Isn't that right Yoh? After all, you can't seriously have sex with him and not think about me whilst you're doing it…"**_

_No. Hao, I want to show you that I love you._

"Only if you're sure Yoh. You know I wouldn't do anything that you don't want me to do… right?"

_Right._

I nod furiously. No stupid voice from my past was going to change how I felt now. Even if he was the reason I couldn't talk, it didn't mean I would let him ruin my future.

Hao takes my hand in his. He will protect me. That hand that is coiling around my own won't let anyone touch me. I just know it.

_Hao?_

He smiles and pulls me upstairs, where we go into his room and sit down on his bed, our mouths never breaking contact. His hair is tickling my face and I run a finger over the earring that is hanging from his earlobe.

I am being lowered onto the pillows, where my head lies to rest. I open my eyes, thus making Hao do too. He trails kisses onto my neck, and I fist my hands into his hair, gripping it tightly, closing my eyes in pleasure. We were made for this.

When he reaches my chest, he quickly unbuttons the shirt and kisses his way down to the scars I have there, tracing them and finally, dipping his tongue into my navel, swirling it around.

"Hn…"

What was that?

"Yoh… did you… did you just moan?"

My eyes are wide. He puts a warm hand on my face and kisses me softly on the lips.

"Yoh… you just made a noise. Shall we see how many more noises you can make?"

I bite my bottom lip. He hooks a finger under the waistband of my boxers and tugs at it gently. I squeeze my eyes shut and gasp suddenly.

"Gah…nuh… uh…"

His tongue swirls around the head of my erection and traces up and down slowly, making strange noises escape my lips. I grip his hair even more tightly and attempted to buck upwards, only to be pushed down my Hao's cool hands on my hips.

"Say my name Yoh, come on"

"H… uh… Hao…"

Why? How? How was he making me speak? Even though my throat hurt, it felt good. To have words to speak, even if they were just moans of ecstasy.

_**Flashback**_

"_The motor pools to his brain have seemingly torn the nerves to his senses. One sense to be exact. Well, not so much a sense as a…"_

"_Get on with it Doctor."_

"_The nerves to his voice box have been severed. He won't be able to talk at all. No noise, no nothing."_

"_That's not so bad… right?"_

"_No…" The doctor smirked. "Not bad at all. It means he won't be able to scream, IF something bad happens to him…"_

_**End Flashback**_

That was it. This wasn't bad, so I could scream. This was Hao, so I could make these weird noises in my appreciation for him.

"Hao… I…"

"If you need to climax Yoh, go ahead. I've waited so long to taste you."

"_**I love how you taste Yoh."**_

No. I could climax for Hao. For Hao. Not you.

"H…Hao! HAO!"

I let go of it. Of all that frustration and trouble. Shudders flailed through my back and body, and I bucked violently, before I came, releasing into Hao's mouth.

I loosened my grip on his hair and collapsed into his chest. He held me close before I realized he still had his erection. I hesitantly slid a hand into his boxers.

I gulp. He was a hell of a lot bigger than me. I look up at him, with quite a worrying gaze.

I try to speak, but I can't force my words out. So I opt for the thinking method once again.

_Hao… I don't think I can get all of that in my mouth…_

He laughs and strokes my hair. "Don't you worry about that. Yoh... Do... You want us to have sex?"

_You're asking me?_

He nods, kissing me on the cheek. "If you don't want to… we won't."

_I do._

Of course I do. I'm just… a little scared I guess. He pulls me towards him, so I am sat on his lap. We kiss for a bit, savagely, then gently. I love the way Hao kisses. Varying the pressure and touching me at the right moments.

He kisses me, and then pulls away.

"Are you sure?"

_Yes._

"_**Sure? You've never been sure of anything in your life. Why now?"**_

_I'm sure._

**KABOOM!**

**Gawd.. I am so evil. Yay... they have finally progressed to the 'physical' stage. Bet you were all dying for that… no?**

**Anyways... the bold and italics together was the voice of the man in the flashback… as you have probably guessed. :D**

**Sorry about the wait!**

**-Cookies and roses and plushies to all reviewers!-**

**Please review**

**XD**


	10. Hao:Back To The Drawing Board

**Hao: Back To The Drawing Board**

I pushed my tongue deep into his mouth, and his tongue touched mine appreciatively. I was lost inside this vast pleasure dome, the ecstasy numbing all my other senses.

I stopped when I realized Yoh has stiffened in my arms.

"What is it? Are you okay?"

He didn't say anything for a moment. He swayed from side to side, his hair swinging in rhythm with him. I reached out to steady him, and he coughed, blood splattering all over my arms. He cried a little, but pushed me away, and wiped a sleeve across his mouth, and stared blankly ahead.

"Yoh… we should go and get some help."

He shook his head and stood, leaving the room completely. I didn't stop him. Instead, I grabbed my coat and pulled it over my frame, running downstairs and shouting back to Yoh that I'll be back soon.

It was raining heavily. I cursed at myself for not bringing an umbrella, and hugged my coat tighter around myself. The general practice wasn't so far away from here.

I pushed open the doors and headed for the reception desk, where a girl in a pink tracksuit was idly chewing a piece of pink chewing gum.

"I just need a doctor, for a minute…" I panted, out of breath and red faced.

She blew out a bubble and retracted it, taking it back into her mouth and twirling it round with her tongue.

"Sorry chick you're going to have to wait."

I was about to slam a fist down on the table when I heard a voice.

"Yoh? Is that you?"

I turned around and faced the man. He was wearing a white coat and had dirty blonde hair. He was clutching at a clipboard.

"Sorry… not Yoh. You must be his brother then."

I took a step back. "No… you must have the wrong idea. Yoh and I aren't related. I'm his bo… uh… close friend. He's not well."

The doctor gave me a smile. A twisted, sick smile that suggested he already knew, but I guess he can't have known. He laughs, and I realize he has a tinge of German to his accent.

"Sorry then. What can I do for you?"

We went into a small, white examination room and I took seat across from him, not liking the look he gave me.

"So… doctor…." I peered at his nametag. "Doctor Faust. Yoh isn't well and I don't know why."

"I do." He leaned on the table, and I looked up, noticing he was wearing dark eyeshadow. I looked at him as if he was completely crazy and he laughed a little.

"I was Yoh's previous doctor."

"What's wrong with him?" I tried to chase the desperation from the edges of my voice, but I failed miserably. I didn't want this to happen to Yoh. He was just a nice kid.

"I can't tell you that."

I lost it. I reached across the table and grabbed his lapels, hoisting him out of his chair and pulling his face close to mine, spitting out my words.

"WHY THE FUCK NOT?!"

He was still calm. I was forced down by an immense power, so that the chair almost broke underneath me. I threw my head backwards, and gazed upon a spirit. This guy was a shaman. I was so worried about Yoh... that I didn't notice his aura at all. He smirked.

"Not a good idea to challenge me like that." He murmured, taking a pen from his desk and placing it into his pocket.

I stood up with more force than I'd have liked. I stormed out of the room and slammed the door shut. I could barely see through the red mist that clouded my sight.

I got home, and shut the door slowly. Yoh couldn't see I was angry, because it would upset him. He was sleeping peacefully, on the sofa, as if everything that had happened was a million miles away. With slender fingers, I brushed a lock of chocolate hair from his eyes and sighed heavily.

Why was he so closed in? Why wouldn't he let me in?

Hao. Don't be stupid. You just about fucked every single student at the school, including four members of the student council. You must be seriously messed up in the head if you think he thinks you are different, or you have changed.

I grabbed a bottle of orange and vodka from the fridge and wandered into the living room. I was about to slump into the plush armchair that was opposite the sofa, but something caught my eye. I padded over to Yoh and drew the ball of my thumb across his bottom lip, wiping away the crimson stain. He murmured in his sleep, his eyelids tensing, and then relaxing, his hand coming up by his head, the other resting on the flat tummy.

I knelt by his side, my legs curling underneath me, as if I were performing some sort of prayer. I tossed the bottle aside, as I hadn't even opened it. It rolled across the deep blue carpet and came to a stop, with a clink, at the bottom of the fireplace. I outstretched a hand and extended my fingers, summoning strength to the front of my mind, and hurling what I gathered to the logs at the base of the marble fireplace.

The logs sparked, engulfing themselves in flame. I used too much energy, because there was a lot on my mind, relating to stress. I heaved my body backwards, so I was leant against the sofa.

There was a soft knock at the door. I snapped out of my daze and stood, making my way to the door. I opened it with no hesitation. It was probably just Ren or Horo who had forgotten their keys.

"Yo!"

"J…J-Jason?"

He punched my shoulder, before nodding to his mates and they pushed past me.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing?" I hissed, knowing that he'd most likely pick a fight with Yoh.

"Just coming round to make sure you're okay. You haven't been to footy practice for a long time now."

I shrugged. "I've been busy."

He didn't buy it. Instead, he spied the discarded bottle in the living room and stopped short, lowering his gaze to the brunette on the sofa.

"Hey… Hao… who is this?" He asked, leering over Yoh, who merely turned over and mumbled. I didn't answer.

"Ooooh… Hao has a new fuck buddy! And another guy too… I wonder how long this one will last?"

I coiled my fingers into my palm, the nails digging into the skin there. "It's not like that…" I attempted to say without smashing him in the face. I looked at Yoh, who was still sleeping peacefully.

"What do you say we… hey wait a minute…" He leant over and took Yoh's face in his hand. Yoh stirred, but didn't wake up.

"This is that Art fucker who bumped into me… isn't it?"

I bit my lip. "Yeah… but it's more complicated than that…" I trailed off, noticing how he was giving me a weird look. "What?"

"You better not be ditching us…" He frowned, "For this kid."

So what if I am? Okay… I didn't say that. "No… of course not…"

"Good. Then you would remember that we have a soccer tournament in a week, over in Fiteng, right?" He smirked. He obviously knew I had no idea of it. I put on my best thinking face. He didn't buy it.

"You forgot. And I bet it has something to do with that kid."

"You're wrong."

"Oh am I? Well.. I just hope for his sake that I am."

I froze. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" I asked slowly, losing my confidence.

He grinned. He ran a hand through his bleached blonde hair and punched my playfully for the second time. "You've got your own set of problems. Juts make sure you're at the game. We need you Captain."

C-Captain? Jason never addressed me as Captain. His Father was the team coach, and so, it was in his family to become Captain of the squad. But when I was better than him, he couldn't take it. We fought all the time as kids, because his Father demanded he was not a person to favor people over other people. Therefore, instead of choosing his son, he chose the best player, which happened to be me.

He smiled. I held out my knuckles and he did too. We bashed them together before he slumped in the sofa. Wow. I knew Yoh had some problems, but I was so busy trying to shield him from reality and shelter him from all other bad things, and trying to help him with his demons, that I forgot all about my own life. I forgot what was happening in my life, and how it was somehow going wrong.

He tore the metal bottle cap from the mouth of the bottle with his teeth and took a swig of the alcohol before offering it to Mike. Four other team mates sat outside, in the dining room, helping themselves to my booze. I couldn't complain. It was I who made the statement, 'My life is your life, and your life is my life, and all of lives belong to the team, for we live for the game'.

I shrugged and thought for a moment. "Hold on a sec guys." I knew Jason loved putting loud music on, so I lifted Yoh from the sofa, bridal style and supported his lolling head with my hand. I headed up the stairs, slowly, being careful not to jerk him out of his sleep state.

I pushed open the door with my shoulder and balanced Yoh partly on my knee before pulling back the covers and placing Yoh under them, slowly unbuttoning his creased shirt and taking it off, pulling it from his arms. I then unfastened his pants, sliding them off too. I folded the clothes gently, placing them at the foot of the bed, so he could get them when he woke up. I leant over and kissed his soft forehead lightly before closing the door to and going back downstairs.

"So… a tournament next week?" I thought about it. "At Fiteng?"

"Yeah. We have to make our own way there and back. We get free accommodation and that though… so that's cool. Oh… and by the way… there's a reward for this one."

"Reward?"

"Yeah. We have a bet on it. Whoever wins gets to split the money between them. We get 5 thousand pounds for winning this year. That's, like, two more than last year."

I thought for a moment. Maybe if I had that money, I could send Yoh to a real medical centre, and be able to afford for treatment and stuff. I could get him sorted out.

"I see."

"Earth to Hao?" He was waving a hand in front of my face. "We will win… right?"

The rest of the guys were looking at me in a concerned way. I grinned. "Why would you even ask that?" I asked.

He looked at me with intent eyes that were hard to place with him. "Hao…" I tilted my head to the side in a quirky fashion. "…My Dad really believes in you. He knows you can lead us to victory. And I think…" He paused, running his thumb over the mouth of the bottle he was holding. "…I believe it too."

I smiled, a sudden warmth engulfing me. And no, I don't mean I was getting horny. I meant that his words meant something, as he would never normally say them.

"Friends?"

I held up fist to his.

"Friends."

"FOREVER!" We cheered together.

Friends. Friends forever.

Or at least…

Until they found out about Yoh.

**Sorry about the length. –Is very tired and needs sleep-**

**-Gives cookies and roses and free footballs from Hao's closet-**

**Please Review… I'm not dead…**

**XD**


	11. Yoh: In The Dark

**Okay. I know that nothing can make up for this time I have been gone. But now that a very MESSED UP part of my life has passed, I finally intend to wrap up all these loose ends. I'm back, I'm writing, and I only hope you can forgive me for letting you all down. I'm truly, very sorry, and I intend to make up for it. Starting now. Thank you to all those who stuck with me, it made me realise that this is something that's worth sticking with. I love you guys. **

**Yoh: In The Dark**

Faust toyed with the scientific instrument on his desk, the open file on his desk like a needle through his heart.

Yoh had been the most beautiful of children, one of those you expected to read about in the pages of an ancient religion. Those that brought peace to a world restless with anguish. And yet he had been so broken, as if he was the punishment for his family's sins. Faust had been so determined to fix him... but he lacked the experience of a mature doctor and found himself becoming frustrated with the crumbling of any attempt to heal him.

So he turned to spiritualist methods, but mixing his dark power with an entity of innocence like Yoh had its costs. Instead of healing Yoh, he took away the only thing he had to save himself; his voice.

And yet, all the while, instead of being thrown by the sudden silence, Faust grew even more infatuated with the boy, his desire to explore him building up inside of him stronger, and stronger. It quickly became the main focus of his being. This pure thing, so ill fated by creation; so used and cut up.

Instead of becoming the one thing Yoh had always wanted to be, he had to hide away inside himself.

In the dark.

-=-

I couldn't move. Couldn't think. The colours all merged into one, my painting becoming contorted. My mind was dark.

_"Will this make me better?"_

_"I hope so."_

_"It's... scary..."_

_"The darkness shouldn't last too long."_

I sat up, alone, my heart pounding so hard in my chest, I half expected to have broken ribs. I saw my clothes, neatly folded at the end of the bed and blinked. Hao undressed me. The mere thought of that sent shivers up my spine.

And yet it haunted me. Those noises that had escaped my throat. I tried to make them again, but nothing happened. I'd made them before, I'm sure, but I can't recall where, or when. My head hurt just thinking about it.

The sheets felt painfully cold against my skin. I pulled them back and put one shaky foot to the floor. I could feel the ground trembling... or was that me?

There was silence everywhere. No clattering of plates and no rush of bodies cramming themselves out of the door in a desperate effort not to be late. No rushing to the dinner table to gather what scraps they could, like wild animals. Of course, I'm referring to Horo Horo now...

I get dressed and wander downstairs. My throat burns like fire, rich and rising.

It's the afternoon. Probably why no one is in. To my surprise, I see Hao, snoozing away, draped over the sofa like a contented cat. I brush a strand of hair that's caught on his eyelashes and sigh. I wish I could be so carefree. I wish I didn't have thousand voices in my head, and I don't know which one is my own.

"Yoh? Ugh... I've got a killer headache."

I point to the empty bottles laying at his side. He tilts his head.

"How are you feeling?"

_My throat hurts._

A concerned look adorns his face. I blush and pull away. I can't take those deep stares sometimes.

_I'm going home now._

There's a hand on my arm almost instantly. A bolt of electricity explodes in my heart. I felt lightheaded... strange... and so very, very dizzy.

"Why? Have.... are you okay? You can stay here... if you want."

_I have to go home. Father will be worried. I don't want him to think I've run away or something._

"Oh." His face falls, eyes sad. I turn around so I don't have to face his supressed emotion. I didn't like doing this to him. I just had to get away, for a moment, a day, a week. Anything to make this pain inside my chest vanish.

"Will I see you at school then?"

_Sure._

-=-=-=-=-

I hated this. Hiding in the Art room, just so Hao wouldn't come and make me hurt again.

My Father had been so worried about me. I had to pretend it was all okay. Managed to lie on paper... quite a talent.

I hated the position of this room. A while ago, I used to love it. I used to peer over the edge to the football field and admire him. Now, it hurts so much that I can't even face towards the window anymore.

Something had changed inside of me, and it hurt to even think about. I could see dark faces, and a voice that once seemed so far away appeared to be growing louder, as if seeking me out amongst the rabble. I was remembering something that had forced it's way to the back of my skull, where it had been lurking for what seemed like years.

"Yoh?"

Just hearing his voice made me grit my teeth. I didn't want to do this to him. Did I miss him? Yes. Did I want to be together with him every single night? Yes. Did I love him? I think so.

Did it hurt whenever I was anywhere near him?

Hell yes.

"We... haven't really had a chance to talk or anything..."

_I'm sorry about that. I've been really busy with work and stuff. The last thing I want to do is get behind._

"I understand that." He took his hands out of his pockets and his fists clench. I knew by his face that this was one of those moment where he's trying to find the right words. Figuring out how to say something so it doesn't sound dumb as it leaves his mouth.

"Yoh... I..."

_Hao._

He seemed almost relieved that I'd interrupted him. I smiled an almost weary smile.

"Yes?"

_There's a lot going on inside my head right now. I don't know what it is, but it hurts, and it's to do with you. I'm gonna get this all sorted... and then we can be together... okay?_

"So let me help! We could go and see a doctor..."

His voice trailed off into the blur that misted over my eyeballs, a milky white that rendered me blind. I couldn't hear him anymore... just the hiss and spitting of static in my head, a television playing over and over with the same lines but I couldn't tune into the station.

"_Doctor? (excuse me miss) Doctor? Please...!"_

"_He's always been sick. (Help my baby!) I don't think he'll ever get better."_

"_The separation (I'm sorry Miss, there's nothing we can do) might be the cause..." (I won't give up on you)_

"Yoh? Yoh! Please! Just answer me!"

My cranium felt as thought it was about to split itself in two. My vision finally focused on Hao's face, to which I tried to steady my breathing. I lay in his arms for a minute, the pain subsiding. Those voices... I'd heard them before but it seemed so out of reach that my fingers hurt from outstretching them.

_Sorry... I..._

"What's going on here?"

A voice of authority always seems so penetrating to the atmosphere. Hao looks at the teacher with eyes that are trying to find an excuse for this awkward position. I'm looking forward to hearing him try and explain this one...

"Sorry Miss, but I think you should be a little lighter with the weight of the work you put on my friend. He's been up every night trying to recreate this scene, and I think it's really damaging his health... now, if you don't mind," And I really don't think she had a choice at all, "I'm going to head to the nurses' office."

"Well, alright..." her sheepish remark was quiet.

We walked down the corridor in silence, my ears still ringing with the conversations that made so little sense, they threatened to blister my brain.

"Yoh, I know you think you can do this alone... and I think you probably could... but..."

He turned to stand in front of me, to block my path so I had his full attention. He didn't realise that my attention was never anywhere else.

"...I want to help you. I've been a bastard for most of my life. You've changed that." He reached out, putting a reassuring but non perverted hand on my shoulder and gave it a quick squeeze accompanied by a smile. "Just please... let me help you? In anyway I can?"

I caved. I couldn't deny him now.

_Sure._ I laughed. He caught it. I was glad.

**As always darlings, please take the time to drop a review. It's be nice to know how many of your haven't died or totally grown out of anime or whatever in all this time I've been gone. So I salute you oh reviewers. Take my cookies and roses and leave me (undeserved) love in its wake.**


	12. Hao: Crash Down, Spin Round

**This chapter is just to highlight a little bit of Hao's past. Can't all be about Yoh ya know. =] Just a little injection of backstory for you here. I felt like this was really needed in order to show Hao's reflections and change.**

**I told you all I'd update soon as I could. It's here! Thanks so much for all your support guys. You know I love you all.**

**Hao: Crash Down, Spin Round.**

I've always been different.

When I was young... and here I'm talking three, four years old, I was placed under the care of Westwood Side County Psychiatric Hospital. My parents left me, and I have no recollection of them whatsoever. I'm not sure I'd really want any, to be perfectly honest. I grew up in wires and reports. Drugged up to my knees in disorder and mayhem; I spent my time alone.

After I was discharged, I was placed in a halfway house, where I floated in and out, passing through family after family. Eventually, I guess my reputation must have preceded me, because I stayed there. I was a bad child. I would do anything to cause drama. I skived school. I started fights that I never lost. I smashed windows, stole from houses and generally wasted my childhood being a criminal, when I know, that if I'd have actually tried, I could have been so much more. The halfway house became my home until I left with the nicest family possible. Toshiya, my Father, was a strict but caring man who provided much needed discipline in my life. My Mother, Shauna, was elegant, a brilliant cook, but was a perfectly sculptured shoulder when I needed something to cry on. They shaped me into what I am today. Even though I have my fair share of flaws, I am now a damn sight better than I was. And they showed me what a family was.

What follows is a shitload of heartache.

My folks were in a smash up on the motorway.

'Dad' died at the scene.

'Mom' was rushed to hospital, where I got there just in time to suffer the touching goodbye. She gave everything she and her husband had ever made to me, to help me start my own life. The first decent people I'd ever met were stolen from me by what originally started as a car chase.

Since then, my heart has healed in such a way that it now feels no attachment. I was afraid of feeling something, just in case it left me again. I can't connect. I am the very suggestion of cold.

Oh, I was skilled. I'd given girls multiple waves of orgasms with just my mouth. I'd made guys beg for me on their hands and knees. I'd humiliated them, and they'd loved it, because it was me. They were sharing the one everyone wanted.

There's no need to be modest when it's factual.

And I enjoyed it, until the aftermath awakened and I opened my post ecstasy eyes to affection and hope.

This is what scares me.

Do I want to know why my own parents gave me up? Of course the thought has crossed my mind. I wonder why they gave me to such a place, rather than placing me in someone else's hands. I suppose it was only natural to think such things, being brought up without them.

I closed my eyes. My brain hurts to think about it. This is why I prefer to fuck and drink my problems away. It's hard to think about your past when you're lost in the moment.

I couldn't count them on my fingers. It went beyond that. I remember every face, but I probably wouldn't recognise them in the street.

There are some girls that leave the canteen crying when I walk in. Boys tend to go the bathroom, or make any excuse up to avoid me.

When I first saw Yoh, I didn't think anything of him. I didn't approach him with any intentions. When we started talking, in the loosest sense of the word, I wanted him in the same fashion I'd wanted everyone else. The infamous Hao's 'fuck now, never call again' complex. I'd wanted him.

And yet he didn't seem to fall for it. He was closed off, cautious. It was harder than I thought. Now that it comes down to it, I think being with Yoh has changed me. I think that now, if we fucked, it wouldn't be fucking. It would be, dare I say it, making love. I didn't know that meaning of that. I think it would be me, reaching for the phone in the morning, dialling his number, making sure he wasn't the one to leave me behind. I was doing the chasing.

Seems a little strange now.

I reach over and pluck the phone from its cradle, dialling Yoh's mobile number and lolling back into bed. When it went straight to answerphone, I knew he must have it switched off.

I threw it to the end of the bed and rubbed at my eyes. This was killing me. I'd never worried about anything. Except, maybe... just a few times. Times I can remember.

"_It's a test, Hao. Don't worry, it'll only hurt for a second."_

"_But..."_

"_Sush Honey. Now, put this between your teeth."_

"_No! Why?"_

"_It'll stop you biting your tongue dear."_

I only have a few clear memories of that institution, but those I do have still give me nightmares today. I suppose some people in there had it a lot worse than me, so I'm not complaining. It wasn't too bad. Except that one nurse. The one with red hair and a vicious smile. She hurt. She made me hurt too.

Still, something wasn't quite right.

"Fuck. Whatever."

I slid out of bed and shoved my feet roughly in two thick socks. I padded down the stairs, my fingertips grazing the cool wall to my right.

"Fuck you! That's mine!"

"I'm hungryyyyy!"

The mental sigh escaped my brain and rolled off my lips. Although I was glad of the rent from these two, sometimes, I just wanted to knock their heads together. Horo was on the floor, Ren's hand twisted in his hair, the blue haired boy letting out muffled yelps obscured by the slice of toast dangling from between his lips.

I left the room. The last thing I needed to deal with today is these idiots.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

I remember moving into Thornhouse: Halfway house when I was seven years old. My room was not much smaller than a shoebox. I shared it with another boy, older than me, Ryu. Ryu used to vanish at odd times during the night; used to crawl out of his window and slide down the drainpipe. Always said he was meeting somebody. He kept a tiny black wallet in his pocket that I wasn't allowed to touch. Told me that he'd throw me out of the window if I ever went near it, to steal his money. Funny thing is... he kept his money in his pockets...

I caught him out on the streets, when I had been breaking and entering at nine years of age. He was with another man, aged and balding, white hairs sprouting from his nose and ears. I was excited to see him, outside the house. He was probably the closest thing I could pitch as a friend. Maybe even an older brother figure. But... as I got closer, my gut turned over inside of me. I knew this was a bad situation. I knew because my instincts told me, and my instincts were never wrong. Of course, I never knew back then that this was because of my shaman powers.

I tried to get him to come home with me... to come back to the house. I pulled at his clothes, trying to persuade him to leave.

The old man grabbed my shoulders, shouting something to Ryu, who stood in fear before tugging me away, eyes wide and hands shaking.

At the time, I was young, naïve, carefree, (almost).

I know now that Ryu was a drug addict. Those late night outings? They were meeting in which he sold himself to pay off his addiction. That old man was a client. That old man thought I was like Ryu.

I was nearly raped that night.

It brought me closer to Ryu in a way I had never imagined. I started giving him the money I was stealing for him to get his fixes. I became an enabler. He taught me tricks to get through doors, cars and windows.

Yet he never offered me the drugs. He kept that shit as far from me as possible. It created too much temptation. I took his black wallet when he was out, shook out the powder. Cut it up, just like I'd seen him do. I took the cut straw and took one little sniff.

What I experienced that night changed my life. I wanted to be high, all the time.

When Toshiya and Shauna took me in, I went to great lengths to conceal my secret. I was weaned off, bit by bit by the overpowering fear that I would disappoint them.

The past always feels shameful when I look back on it like that. But I stopped being an addict. I overcame my drug abuse and instead, became a master in abusing hearts.

I went from junkie to slut in less than three months.

I remember my first woman. Jackson was my best friend, my next door neighbour. Charlotte was his sister. She was powerful and beautiful, legs long and tanned, hair a dirty blonde, breasts big and supple. We got drunk one night, started fooling about. I was her first too. We never dated. I made her orgasm twice and she got me off, all safe of course.

My first boy? Well, that's more complex. At first, I rejected him again and again. I was so sure I didn't like guys.

His mouth around my erection sure made me sing a different tune.

He was mine after that. He slept with no other. I slept with plenty of other people... I didn't do relationships after all, but he was always there. He would drop everything to come back and get fucked by me. Anything. I showed up at his nephews christening in a suit and he caved, told his Mother he'd be back, that he had something important to do with school to catch up on.

He missed out on his nephews christening for me to take him behind the church, knees shaking and fingernails scraping against mossy brick. He stuffed his shirt into his mouth, so his Mother wouldn't hear on the other side of the wall. It only made me fuck him harder.

I was shameless. I suppose I still am, slightly.

I picked up the phone again. It went to voicemail.

I paused.

"Yoh... I know you are having a hard time. I need you to call me. I'm worried about you."

I sighed loudly. A rush of static is all that could be heard at the other end.

"Just..." I trailed off, closing my eyes tightly. I was being pathetic. I hadn't seen him in three days and I was being like this. Like I couldn't let him go. Like I didn't want to.

"Call me."

I didn't know whether to say it. Those three words might ruin this message, push him further away.

Since when I have I not taken risks?

"I love you, you know."

I hung up. Wait. Shit.

I rang back.

"It's Hao by the way."

**Alrighty. You know the drill! Button! Review! Type type type type.... SEND!**

**-Gives cookies and roses- Thanks for reading you guys :D Have my love. **


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